Sexy Dreams: Meaning of Dreams about Sex

Meaning of Dreams about Sexsexydreams

Let’s talk about sex—sex in dreams.

Sex is commonly used by dreams to create symbolism. Even virgins and celibate priests and nuns dream about sex—very intensely and realistically, too.

Interpreting a dream featuring sex or arousal does not have to go very deep, in some cases. It simply means that sex is on your mind, or you are aroused during sleep. People can experience periods of arousal while asleep. Dreams turn physical input into dream imagery, so arousal while dreaming is likely to be turned into sexual imagery or symbolism. However, the ‘chicken or egg’ question has not been answered: Does arousal cause sexually related dream imagery, or does sexual dream imagery cause arousal?

It is common to dream about someone who arouses you. If you have been having thoughts or fantasies about the person and dream about having sex, it might simply reflect your thoughts or fantasies. Even if you are married or in a committed relationship you can be aroused by someone else. While it might not be wise to pop awake and tell your significant other, having such a dream is not something to feel guilty about. Which is a typical reaction.

If you already know that a person in your dreams turns you on, you are not learning anything new. Instead, it might be giving you a safe forum to work through the situation—a simulation—or a safe outlet for your feelings and desires. At least you get a taste of that fruit, perhaps enough to satisfy you. The same idea applies to people who are celibate. Sometimes they have intensely sexual dreams that provide an outlet for that energy, and at heart it is a healthy process, not something to be ashamed of or repressed.

Your physician would probably agree that sexual arousal in dreams is healthy for you, especially if you are not having any sex in your waking life. A wet dream helps the prostate. Arousal and orgasm get the blood pumping and dilate blood vessels. It releases stress and anxiety. And it’s pleasurable. Enjoy it!

justadreamNow that we have covered the personal and physiological aspects of sex dreams, let’s talk about the symbolic aspects.

Sex in a dream can symbolize intimacy of any kind. You can be intimate with a person without having sex with them. You can be intimate with a subject or idea, and with your creations.

Here is an example of sex being used to symbolize intimacy with another person. A female in a committed relationship dreams about having sex with mutual friends of her boyfriend. She wonders if she has a repressed desire to cheat, but the dreams reflect the intimate conversations she has been having with those mutual friends. It feels like cheating because she is sharing thoughts and feelings with them that she isn’t sharing with her boyfriend.

Another example that expresses a similar idea: A teenage girl dreams she is told by her mother that she has to have sex with her father. She reluctantly follows him into the bedroom, where he casually disrobes and they have sex. She is disgusted. In her waking life, her parents are divorced and the father is distant from the family. Her mother uses her to maintain a connection between him and the family. She pushes them closer, telling her daughter to have a relationship with him, but the dreamer doesn’t want to be close with him. Sex in this dream symbolizes forced closeness.

Now for an example of sex symbolizing intimacy with a subject. A student dreams about having sex with her professor. She is not at all physically attracted to him in waking life, but in the dream he is a real Casanova. The dream helps the student realize that her professor intellectually stimulates her. His lectures are dynamic, turning her on to the subject of the class. What she is really attracted to is the subject and the professor’s teaching ability.

Sex in a dream can express intimacy with what you create. A writer dreams about a sexually charged situation with a character he invented for a book he is writing. The dream reflects the closeness and intimacy he feels with the character. Our creations are often expressions of our inner lives. Story characters, in particular, reflect the writers that create them, so the leap from a story character to a dream character is a short one.

Sex in a dream can be used to express thoughts and feelings that are intimate or private, or as symbolism for jealousy. For example, a man dreams that his wife is having sex with her co-workers. He does not suspect she is cheating in waking life, but does feel a bit jealous of all the time she spends at work. He keeps those thoughts and feelings to himself, knowing that her time away is part of the job. He can’t help but feel some jealousy and miss his wife. The dream amplifies his feelings so he will consciously deal with them rather than ignore them. In this case, sex is symbolism for feeling jealous.

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The dream about the girl having sex with her father brings up a type of dream: Sex with relatives. The typical reaction is to wonder if the dreamer has a secret desire to commit incest, but very rarely is that the case. Sometimes these dreams can reflect physical attraction, but not necessarily desire to have sex with that person.

A typical example is a college male dreams about having sex with his younger female cousin. He feels dirty because in waking life he has been trying to avoid noticing that the innocent little girl he grew up with has blossomed into a beautiful young woman. He can’t help but notice, and the more he tries to ignore it the more he feels conflicted.

The dream is simply reflecting his thoughts and feelings. It’s not saying he wants to have sex with her. Instead, the dream amplifies his feelings of attraction so he will stop repressing them and come to terms with himself that allow him to notice that his cousin is attractive and not feel guilty about it.

Another possibility to consider is incestuous sex simply reflects closeness and platonic intimacy with a relative. For example, a female has dreams about having sex with her brothers. During the dreams the sex feels perfectly natural, but after waking up, she is repulsed by the implications. However, sex with her brother is a way of saying that part of him has become part of her. It is inside her. Get the idea?

It is easy to lose sight of the fact that the most basic purpose of sex is pregnancy. Sex in a dream can be about pregnancy or issues related to it. For example, a female dreams about having hot sex. Her partner pauses to put on a condom, and while doing so spills a drink on the mattress, infuriating the dreamer. She kicks out her lover. It symbolizes her fear of getting pregnant. The drink spilling while putting on the condom symbolism her fear she could accidentally get pregnant if semen spills out of a condom.

Sex in a dream can symbolize dominance and submission, giving and receiving. The symbolism derives from the roles played and positions assumed during sex. For example, dreaming about being on top during sex might symbolize being in a dominant position in a business deal or relationship. Also consider the idea of getting what you want.

Sexual dream imagery that is absurd or outrageous can be a sign of something out of kilter in a person’s sexual attitudes and perceptions. Interrupted sex in a dream can symbolize lacking privacy or opportunity for sex or masturbation.

sleep_stomach_dreams

In 2012, the journal Dreaming published a study that caused quite a stir. Calvin Kai-Ching Yu, a dream researcher in Hong Kong, found a correlation between sleep position and dream content. Specifically, sleeping on your stomach produces erotic dreams. The results were somewhat controversial, but physical stimuli can influence dream content, and sleeping on your stomach causes more stimulation of the genitalia.

Phallic symbols…oh god, do we want to go there? In my experience, dreams are more to likely to directly refer to sex and genitalia rather than use phallic symbols. Western society is not sexually repressed as it was back in Sigmund Freud’s day. However, phallic symbols and symbols for female genitalia can be used in dreams. One of the cleverest I’ve run across is a dream about entering an underground parking garage. The entryway symbolizes the vaginal canal, and the parking garage symbolizes the uterus.

Dreams make oblique references when they need to, and phallic symbols are from another era when sex was taboo. That’s not to say that dreams don’t use symbolism to represent sex. Dreams have hundreds of euphemisms for sex to draw on to create symbolism: plowing a field, climbing a flagpole, eating a hot dog, stuffing a taco, hitting a home run. Just keep in mind that your dreams don’t bring up sex just for the fun of it. Or do they? With dreams, anything is possible.

See also:

Fellatio and Oral Sex Dreams

Penis Dreams

More about sex dreams

 

RadOwl

I'm the author of "Dreams 1-2-3: Remember, Interpret, and Live Your Dreams," and "The Dream Interpretation Dictionary: Symbols, Sign and Meanings." At reddit.com I'm known as RadOwl. I began studying dreams in the early 1990s and delved into all major schools of thought, especially the writings of Carl Jung.

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