Dreams that offer emotional closure

This week we look at dreams that offer emotional closure and learn something valuable to know about what dreams can do for you.

Dear Dreams 1-2-3:

Can dreams give me emotional closure? I ask because I ran into my ex girlfriend in a bar Friday night then had a dream that she and I went on a walk and talked things out. At the end we gave each other a hug and went our separate ways. When I woke up, I felt like I’d finally moved on from the relationship.

Signed,

Romeo Must Die

Dear Romeo:

Yes! Dreams bring to life unresolved situations or feelings and offer closure when you’re having trouble doing it while awake. Dreams can help you grieve the loss of a loved one, mend a broken heart, and let go of regrets, among other things. The fact that dreams can help with emotional closure should be included on the Ten Things to Know about Dreams. In no particular order:

  1. Dreams offer emotional closure.
  2. Dreams exaggerate to make their point.
  3. Dreams about conflict often illustrate battles between the head and heart.
  4. Dreams offer good advice.
  5. Dreams bring to light thoughts in the back of your mind.
  6. Your feelings are your best guide to interpreting your dreams.
  7. Everything in dreams is symbolic. The images shouldn’t be taken literally.
  8. The actions in dreams reveal the symbolism.
  9. Dreams compensate. The more one-sided you are while awake, the more one-sided your dreams are – one-sided in the opposite direction.
  10. Dreams show you yourself reflected back in a mirror that misses nothing.

 

Dear Dreams 1-2-3:

I broke up with my girlfriend a while ago and had a hard time letting go. I’ve been acting … hurt and angry. Last night I dreamed I was in my car and my ex came up to the window. I told her to get in the passenger seat but instead she asked me to roll down the window. She said that I had to let go of her, and that I’ve moved on before from a break up and can do it again. I woke up in the morning feeling like I can finally let go of her, and it’s the best I’ve felt in a long time.

Signed,

Getting Better

Dear Getting Better:

This is one of dozens of testimonies I have read about dreams offering emotional closure. You knew in the back of your mind that you had what you needed to let go and move on, you just needed the dream to remind you.

RadOwl

I'm the author of "Dreams 1-2-3: Remember, Interpret, and Live Your Dreams," and "The Dream Interpretation Dictionary: Symbols, Sign and Meanings." At reddit.com I'm known as RadOwl. I began studying dreams in the early 1990s and delved into all major schools of thought, especially the writings of Carl Jung.

You may also like...

10 Responses

  1. Kristina says:

    I walked away from an old friend who we seem to have feeling for at different times. After a long relationship on his side I shared my feelings and gave home time to heal. Over two years… we stayed in touch… I finally moved and was closer to him – and put it all on the line to “give it a go”. He started seeing someone new – and said if it doesn’t work out. I was heartbroken. I put a lot on the line – and could feel his commitment issues- he kept saying it was timing.

    I finally had to let go and shared his circumstances would have to change. I cried so hard. I wanted this for so long.

    I just started dating some and I was shocked at how open and present this man is. It made me realize how my friend and I – didn’t get “close” even though I loved him so much.

    Last night (early morning) I had a dream of “my ex friend” where the two of us were st a table and we shared that we didn’t get the time together we needed. He was crying and I was …I told him it was ok and that he want the one for me… but then told me about another woman from his past (it was my same story for him – I reach out after 20 years)… he said he knew her from I school and in the dream he want to do all the things for her that he DIDNT do for me- be bold, ask her to marry him, communicating constantly, pursuing her – with intensity. My heart broke in the dream to see him do for her what I wanted to do for me.

    I woke up and felt it was a closure dream… but the second half – left me feeling aweful. And has still resonated with me.

    I realize the dream is ALL me. Any suggestions?

    • RadOwl says:

      You’ve overcome the tallest hurdle which is to understand that the dream is all you. So what does your friend represent? Look at the opening scene. You’re in a stable. Now consider that you have a stable man in your life right now. There could be a symbolic connection. Perhaps the dream is expressing a wish that you will find in your current relationship what you didn’t get from your ex friend — boldness, pursuit, intensity. You can also tell by the dream that you have some strong residual feelings that need to be worked through your system. The dream might be helping you to clear out the past so you too can be present and open. See?

      • Kristina says:

        Sorry, the opening scene took place at a table, not stable. I’m writing on my phone, pls excuse any errors. The symbolism of the table – important matters are dealt with maturely there. I remember we he was sitting and I grabbed his face, he was sad and I reassured him.

        Also, your saying he is me (a part of me) how?

        I see the old hurt feelings. I even tried to walk it off today. I’ll try journaling.

        I keep asking how the dream is me. Thank you so much

        • RadOwl says:

          Everything you see in a dream, with some exceptions, is projected from your inner world. The way everything is presented and detailed is based on your thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. A tricky issue with dream characters based on people you know is it’s easy to confuse them for the people you know. The presence of that character in a dream can indicate that a subject or idea of dream relates to that person and your relationship with them, but you really have to look at it, in this case, as “I’m hashing through my thoughts and feelings about this person.” Your observation about the table is spot on — important matters dealt with maturely. Now take that idea and apply it to whatever might be unresolved about your relationship with the person in the dream and how it was impacted and changed you.

      • Kristina says:

        Also, I’ve struggled and had to grow through feeling good enough. In the dream, when he was describing this other woman she was successful ( as am I) but I noticed feelings of me not feeling sucessul enough and she was a blonde – I a Burnette. I was comparing myself to something/someone who didn’t have to do anything for him to be determined to pursue.

        If it’s ALL me, what could be the invitation? The learning? She didn’t have to try – and I put in so much effort. Is it that I want to be like her? Have her experience? I have a hard time with the symbolism of the ex friend. He was going to fly and relocate for her- things I would have done for him. So I DO see how he is ME. But why? Why would I see him in masculine form?

        • RadOwl says:

          The contrast between you and the “other woman” is strong symbolism, showing strong feelings and perceptions behind the dream. Start here: comparison and contrast in dreams.

          You have made the observations and personal associations that provide clues to help understand the dream. It reveals that despite being successful, you don’t feel like it’s enough. It could show resentment or jealousy of woman who have everything given to them because they know how to manipulate men into giving them what they want. It could show a wish to have someone treat you with the same specialness as you treat them. A lot of dynamics at play here. It’s possible that your ex in the dream reflects a perception of men in general, and how you see it summed up in your ex.

  2. Christine says:

    I just broke up with my ex boyfriend. He doesnt want to deal with anything. I ended up crying until i fell asleep. Next time i knew is that I woke up and Im feeling light and okay because I dream about him. I couldnt remember all the single details because when we dream sometimes we tend to forget suddenly. But All I can clearly remember is we both know what is happening and he understand the situation. And in my dream we talk about our situation Then he told me he will make sure i will go home safely we are both holding hands while walking then before I left we hugged and kiss. It feels like its like in reality because the situation relates in my life right now thats why i bumped up with this site becauss i was really looking if dreams can gives you closure. And i guess it really can give you that. You just have to believe in it because it you and your subconscious mind talking.

    • RadOwl says:

      When you are awake you are usually too preoccupied to do this deep level processing. That’s a big factor in why dreams help to provide emotional closure. I think you can feel confident that everything will turn out OK. Sorry to hear things didn’t work out. By the way, I have an article on this site about dreams about your ex.

  3. Amanda Licata says:

    My ex and I broke up over a year ago. He was the only person I ever fell in love with. I left him because of what I was going through. He never openly told me he didn’t want me in his life anymore. A few months ago I reached out to him because I needed emotional support. At which point I found out from his cousin and gf that he doesn’t want me around anymore. But he wouldn’t tell me himself. Last night I had a dream that I went to pick up some of my things but I had a couple of eggs that hatched when we met up outside. We then went inside. I’m grabbing my things from him at which point we ended up in his room. He’s sitting down and reached out his arms at which point he hugged me and was kissing me on the cheek. Next thing I remember I’m on the beach by myself where I see an old friend from high school. We were talking and then I woke up. I then started crying, it seemed like it should have been for closure but I was just sad all over again… I don’t understand.

    • RadOwl says:

      There seems to be a connection between the two eggs hatching and having two people tell you that your ex doesn’t want you in his life anymore. It might symbolize that you knew deep down you’d never get back together but you didn’t allow those thoughts and feelings out into the “open.”

      To me, it looks like closure in the dream because you move on from him and next find yourself in a nice environment (the beach) and see an old friend. That could be a way of saying you need a break or should reconnect with parts of your life that have been left behind. But you still have some grieving to do. Maybe the tears and sadness were just waiting to come out and the dream helped to trigger them. Now that they’re out of you, what’s next? There’s a strong suggestion in the dream that it’s time to move on.

As Dr. Frasier Crane says, I'm listening. Leave a comment.