Dear Dreams 1-2-3
Last night I dreamed that I was a man (I’m not) and I was doing this beautiful girl… honey-blonde hair, gorgeous smile, killer body. And I was really giving her the business, and we were both thoroughly enjoying ourselves. But then I suddenly remembered I wasn’t wearing a condom, so I pulled out of her to put one on, only to find that I did not in fact have a penis at all. So I was puzzling over my lack of junk, when suddenly the girl spilled a little of her drink on my new mattress (I really do have a new mattress). Enraged, I yanked the sheets off the bed to keep the drink from seeping through. When I saw that the liquid had bled all the way to the mattress, I kicked her out.
Apparently I would be a truly dickish (or rather, dickless) boyfriend.
I took this word-for-word from Reddit Dreams rather than paraphrase it because the wording is so vivid and immediately gives me a picture of the dreamer. She’s obviously a sexually liberated female. Getting pregnant can be a big fear among sexually liberated females.
The part about the condom ties in with this idea because wearing a condom is obviously important to her for her to stop in the middle of great sex to put one on. I think the reference to this female dreaming she’s male but having no penis could symbolize that she is actually the female in the scene. She’s the one who has to worry about whether dude is wearing protection.
Spilling a drink on the bed where they are having sex reminds me of the “wet spot” and things that spill on mattresses and seep in. Like semen. If it spills into her and seeps in, it could be trouble.
So put 2 and 2 together and you see in this dream fear about getting pregnant. I think it’s a classic example of dream symbolism.
The part that really seals the deal is the dreamer’s reaction. She gets enraged and kicks out the girl. It’s a sign that she feels very strongly about the underlying issue expressed symbolically by the dream. If she accidentally got pregnant she’d be pissed off and ready to kick out her lover.
That’s my dream interpretation of this sex dream.
I ran across this gem at Reddit Dreams that illustrates how dreams use symbolism. Here is the post (link to original):
So when I finally fell asleep last night I had a dream that a giant green goose with the human face of Ryan Gosling, with hands on the ends of its wings, was chasing me around trying to touch my hair. Also, Gosling had a beak that continued to squawk like a goose. It was … weird.
I wish I was making this up.
So I suggested to the dreamer that maybe the goose was symbolism for how he perceived Ryan Gosling. We all had a good laugh. Then he goes on to explain more of the dream:
My friend told me that a gosling is apparently a baby goose. Then my wife told me that I saw green because I am low on money and he was grabbing at my hair because I am “balding.” Hahaha. Maybe they’re right.
This suggests that maybe the silly goose is the dreamer for worrying about his hair. Gosling is known for his vanity, and dreams love to take these little facts we know about celebrities or otherwise and turn them into stories.
This is one of the better exchanges from my recent Reddit AMA, a question and answer session with the Reddit community (follow the link to read the full AMA). It’s about an earwax dream:
So I had a dream last week where I was pulling earwax out of my boyfriend’s ear, like huge globs of it. Then it turned into bits of blank paper. We were at some kind of party, there were other people there at least, but nobody noticed what I was doing. It actually weirded me out so much that when I woke up and started googling “ear wax dreams” but couldn’t find anything about wax in OTHER people’s ears. WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
The first answer to consider when interpreting a dream is the most obvious one. How much wax is in that man’s ears? Does it look like a potato patch in there? Ruling out that possibility, I would next consider if the symbolism has to do with his listening skills. It could be that you are trying to get through to him and you don’t feel like he is listening or really hearing you.
And her reply:
Actually, now that you mention it, it seems pretty straightforward. He oils his ears sometimes to avoid blockages as his job involves a lot of flying and often he will leave the pipette on the sink without cleaning it and putting it away. It probably just came from me having to ask him to clean up when he’s done.
And that my friends is a classic example of one way dreams speak.
Dream about Rapist
Dear Dreams 1-2-3:
This dream is about my rapist. I walked into a grocery shop and happened to find him lying on his back trying to fix something (in real life he fixes cars) and I shot him right there and walked away. I don’t remember feeling panic-y or anything. I just walked away and I grabbed three shoes on the way out to buy so I didn’t look suspicious.
My rapist is my best friend’s brother. So, in the dream I had to go to his funeral. I didn’t cry. I was only afraid of being caught. I told everyone when I found out the news I was buying three puppies. I stuck next to my friend and played along with being sad but never was.
At the funeral his fiance got up and shot three people. The whole time I was worried about someone finding evidence of me on the crime scene. I woke up thinking he was dead.
What do you think this means? Does the recurrence of the number three mean anything?
Signed, Revenge Served Cold
I think the recurring groupings of three mean you are trying to get your wholeness back, and shooting him means you are trying to rid yourself of the effects of what he has done to you. Being raped can make you feel like a part of yourself has been forcibly taken, making it hard to get on with your life because you don’t feel like yourself anymore. You need something back that your rapist took.
Grabbing the shoes might be a way of saying that you want to get on with your life like it was before. You want to move forward. Or perhaps you’re being told you need to move forward and you’re not ready. (If not being told that, maybe you feel that way? It can take a long time to heal and it’s easy to grow impatient with it.) Being worried about getting caught might relate to catching yourself dwelling on the rape or nurturing your anger. The reference to buying puppies might relate to getting back your playful and carefree side.
I was a newspaper reporter in college and reported on a few rapes around campus. One of the themes that came up a lot was ‘trying to find the old you,’ getting back that zest for life and sense of personal safety. There are some good signs in this dream that you are ready to move forward. Waking up thinking your rapist is dead might be a way of saying “dead to you.” If he’s dead to you, he no longer matters. What’s done is done. Otherwise, how much more of your life is he going to take?
I hope I’ve given you some ideas to work with. The purpose of your dreams is, at heart, to benefit you. So having this dream at this time must be a way of helping you heal. I hope that happens for you and this guy gets what he deserves. Karma will make things right. I’ve seen it happen many times, but to let it do its thing you have to back off the vengeful feelings, assuming you feel vengeful.
Note: This post is taken from my interaction with a subscriber at Reddit Dreams. Her reply: “Thanks. That actually made me feel really good. I agree with a lot of what you said.”
Dream about being lost — Read the original Reddit Dreams post here.
(Condensed version) I have the same dream. I am always either lost or can’t get home. My car breaks down. On the bus I don’t remember my address. I go out to lunch where I used to work before I retired and can’t find my way back. What does it mean?
The most obvious interpretation of a dream about being lost is the dreamer in some way feels lost. Dream enact feelings, so searching for the way home in a dream can symbolize trying to get back to what is comfortable or known. A car breaking down can symbolize personal progress stopping. Going out to lunch and getting lost is a way of describing retirement.
The dreamer told me he’d retired a couple of years ago. “I guess I am really lost,” he commented during our Reddit exchange. With my suggestion he made the connection between his life and his dreams, giving him a way of looking at his situation that might spur him to action.
This week we look at dreams that offer emotional closure and learn something valuable to know about what dreams can do for you.
Dear Dreams 1-2-3:
Can dreams give me emotional closure? I ask because I ran into my ex girlfriend in a bar Friday night then had a dream that she and I went on a walk and talked things out. At the end we gave each other a hug and went our separate ways. When I woke up, I felt like I’d finally moved on from the relationship.
Romeo Must Die
Yes! Dreams bring to life unresolved situations or feelings and offer closure when you’re having trouble doing it while awake. Dreams can help you grieve the loss of a loved one, mend a broken heart, and let go of regrets, among other things. The fact that dreams can help with emotional closure should be included on the Ten Things to Know about Dreams. In no particular order:
- Dreams offer emotional closure.
- Dreams exaggerate to make their point.
- Dreams about conflict often illustrate battles between the head and heart.
- Dreams offer good advice.
- Dreams bring to light thoughts in the back of your mind.
- Your feelings are your best guide to interpreting your dreams.
- Everything in dreams is symbolic. The images shouldn’t be taken literally.
- The actions in dreams reveal the symbolism.
- Dreams compensate. The more one-sided you are while awake, the more one-sided your dreams are – one-sided in the opposite direction.
- Dreams show you yourself reflected back in a mirror that misses nothing.
Dear Dreams 1-2-3:
I broke up with my girlfriend a while ago and had a hard time letting go. I’ve been acting … hurt and angry. Last night I dreamed I was in my car and my ex came up to the window. I told her to get in the passenger seat but instead she asked me to roll down the window. She said that I had to let go of her, and that I’ve moved on before from a break up and can do it again. I woke up in the morning feeling like I can finally let go of her, and it’s the best I’ve felt in a long time.
Dear Getting Better:
This is one of dozens of testimonies I have read about dreams offering emotional closure. You knew in the back of your mind that you had what you needed to let go and move on, you just needed the dream to remind you. When you invite her into your car it’s a way of saying that you were willing to invite her back into your life – you wanted her back in your life – but you also knew it was a bad idea. By letting letting her go her own way in the dream, you freed yourself to move on in waking life. You could view the dream then as a simulation that helped you do what you knew was right.
Interpretation of a dream about false teeth
Dear Dreams 1-2-3:
I had a dream that I got false teeth. I took them out and it tasted and smelled horrible like something rotten in my mouth. What does it mean?
Everything in your dream and dreams in general is symbolic, so to figure out the meaning, begin by asking yourself what false teeth might symbolize.
Your teeth are in the same mouth that speaks, so they can be associated with what you say. False teeth suggests to me that something you say or said is false, dishonest.
Teeth are also associated with social status and perceptions of attractiveness. In which case, false teeth might symbolize a false impression.
The smell and rot in the dream remind me of something that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, symbolically. Lying or giving false impressions can do that.
It also helps to know that dreams almost always refer to the last day or two of your life, or the day ahead. Think back on the day before the dream and look for anything related to false impressions or false words, something that left a bad taste in your mouth, figuratively.
You did that and remembered a phone conversation with your mom. She asked you if you smoke pot and you lied by saying you didn’t. Lying to her left a bad taste in your mouth. So it appears that your dream about false teeth relates to your conversation with your mom. Good job making that connection. Now the question is, how do you put the information to use?
Meaning of dream about hitting father:
Dear Dreams 1-2-3:
I keep having dreams about my Dad. I get very angry with him and punch and hit him as hard as I can, but since I’m a girl he doesn’t hit back. My relationship with my Dad is not great by any means. What are these dreams trying to tell me?
Signed, Not a Daddy’s Girl,
The action of hitting and punching is a symbolic way of acting out your feelings of frustration and anger at your father. You are not expressing those feelings consciously, so your dreams are doing it for you.
When feelings are not consciously dealt with, they become fodder for dreams. Anything ignored or repressed will be given extra life in your sleep, because part of the function of dreams is to make you aware of what is going on beneath the surface. Often, dreams exaggerate to get your attention and really show the dynamics of a situation. So while you might not ever hit your Dad for real, your dreams are showing you that you sure feel like it sometimes!
You shared with me during our online interaction that your father is a heavy drinker who used to hit your Mom and go off on alcohol-fueled rages. You are an adult now and moved out of your parents’ home, but never really dealt with the situation, just left it behind. Well, nothing is every truly left behind. You can’t run from yourself for long.
You also shared with me that you don’t express emotions. Your emotions will find outlets one way or another, and I can tell you from experience that it’s better to do it consciously than unconsciously. Someday you will need to come to terms with your Dad and tell him how you feel about the chaos and fear he brought into your family life. In the meantime, I suggest starting off by writing “Dear Dad” at the top of a letter and just let it all out, say the things you haven’t said. Express the anger and frustration being expressed in the dream, but do it consciously. You will not only feel better, you are likely to help lessen the frequency and intensity of the dreams about conflict with your Dad.
Dear Dreams 1-2-3:
In my dream about dad dying, I’m at a casino and my sister is a contestant in a pageant. My entire family is there. Afterward, I go off to get the car, and when I return to the front of the casino I can’t find them, so I call my Dad. My sister answers and I can tell right away something is wrong. I go to the hotel room where they are staying. I see my Dad’s body lying on a bed covered by a sheet, and my sister next to him crying, but no blood or anything. After a moment, my Dad sits up and starts telling stories from when he was a kid. I’m crying as I think the dream over. What does it mean?
Signed, Worried Son
Dear Worried Son:
There is nothing to worry about. The dream about your dad dying and coming back to life is entirely symbolic and suggests that something in your sister’s relationship with him is changing.
Look first at the setting: a casino. It suggests that the underlying subject is about taking risks, gambling with something, but think beyond the literal to other risks or gambles that can be taken with health, reputation or relationships, for example. A pageant can symbolize display, choices, competition. A hotel room suggests that something is in transition, since hotels are places we go when not at home (unless you live in a hotel!).
Next look at the characters present. Your dad and sister are the primary actors in this dream story, but your entire family is there. So whatever underlies this dream affects all of you in some way.
Now consider the actions in the dream. Your sister participates in a pageant, then you are separated from your family, and finally, you find your dad in a hotel room where he appears to be dead at first, but is actually all right.
All of these actions can be explained by a piece of information we discussed online: You suspect that your unmarried sister, who is away from home while attending a Christian college, is having sex with her boyfriend, a no-no in your family. If they found out, you fear that it could cause a fall out, a separation in the family, which explains why you get separated from them. The risk she is taking explains the casino setting. The pageant is related to the idea of getting married as a process of putting yourself on display and being chosen, related back to sex before marriage. And the implication of your father’s death is actually symbolic of something dying in your sister’s relationship with him, since your father is the one who taught his children to not have sex before marriage, and by disobeying him she risks causing a rift.
The real kicker is the last part when your dad sits up and tells stories from when he was a kid. He told you that he had sex before marriage back when he was “a kid,” and the dream is cleverly reminding you that you know this already. The sheet that covers his face symbolizes that your sister is not “countenancing” his advice, or perhaps can’t “face” the consequences of her actions if he found out. It’s a way of saying that she is ignoring his wishes.
This dream is a great illustration of how external events in our lives become subjects for our dreams. Most dreams are about what is going on inside of you. In your dream the details are drawn from your perceptions and feelings, but the underlying subject is about what is going on outside of you with your sister. Since your father had sex before marriage too, his reaction might not be as bad, as you might expect.
While looking for pictures from pageants to use for this post, I found this gem and had to share it.
Dream about Adele: what it means to dream about a famous person.
Dear Dream Guy,
I had a dream I met the singer Adele in a waiting room. Her head was wrapped in a scarf like she was trying to hide herself or not be recognized, and my sense is I met her just as she is about to become famous. As I observe her I think to myself she needs a good stylist, and before I know I it, I tell her I’ll be her stylist. Then another girl in the room, one of my students, interrupts us saying she wants to be Adele’s stylist. Adele picks me because, she says, I’m married, even though I’m not really married and in the dream I know I’m not. What does it mean?
Stylist in Waiting
Famous people in dreams often symbolize how you relate to them. Something about Adele clicks with you — a part of yourself is like her or relates to her in some way.
You told me Adele reminds you of yourself because she is very talented but people rip on her for being a big girl, so we know how you relate to her. Now look at the setting, a waiting room. To me this says you are waiting for your big moment, the same way in the dream as Adele is on the cusp of becoming famous. It’s not to say you will have her level of success — though it is possible — but you have talent like hers. You are close to gaining your own success.
In waking life you are not a stylist, you are a fashion design instructor and your profession involves knowing style trends and seeing the best way to present people. In that sense you are a stylist. The dream’s reference to being Adele’s stylist is a suggestion for you to apply the same talent and knowledge for your benefit. Adele is the dream’s surrogate for yourself; what the dream says about her, it says about you. Be your own stylist!
dream about a famous person – Adele – leads to advice for this dreamer to become her own stylist
Using that piece of information, now look at how Adele is “under wraps” in the dream. She doesn’t want to be recognized. This stems from your own shyness about your looks. You think people see you as ugly because you are big and busty like Adele. It’s why you can’t look at yourself like you looked at Adele in the dream and see what you could do for her style.
To interpret this dream, I asked what you associate with the student in the dream who competes with you to become Adele’s stylist. You said she reminds you of the type who has it easy because she is skinny, young and attractive enough to never worry about what people think of her looks. In the dream she symbolizes what holds you back: your perception that only females like her have a shot in the fashion design business. Going deeper, I think she also symbolizes perceptions about your own attractiveness: you think you have to look like her to be attractive.
However, Adele picks you, and I think this is a strong message from your unconscious mind to recognize your beauty and talent. She picks you because, she says, you are married. In dreams, marriage can symbolize commitment. This detail tells me that what will really help you succeed is your commitment to your craft. You are, in a sense, married to your identity as a fashion designer. It’s a big part of who you are.
Use Adele as your inspiration. Think about what you would do as her stylist and apply it to yourself. And don’t give a fuck what people think of your appearance; they’re only jealous.